I’m still adjusting to being home.
Which, let me be clear, is different that saying: I am still adjusting to no longer being on the Camino. Or, I am still adjusting to not walking long distances every day. Those two things I have perfectly adjusted to, much to the happiness of my aching feet.
I am still adjusting to being home.
Which, now that I have written that, isn’t really what I want to say at all. Because being home isn’t what I am struggling with. Being home has been lovely. Being home, seeing my family, my friends, and living a life of unemployed leisure has actually taken no adjustment on my part whatsoever.
So what the heck am I still adjusting to? Is “adjusting” even the right word? What, exactly, is my problem?
(Welcome to the inner workings of my brain.)
It’s the unknown. I am still adjusting to the unknown. My unknown. The huge, blank slate before me that is my life. My future.
The closest thing I currently have to a goal is getting a part-time holiday job at a local retail store. Something to get me through the next couple of months and COBRA payments. But then what? More travel? A new career? Which career?
I’m open to thoughts and suggestions. I’m open to anything, really, as long as it’s not Dunder-Mifflin, Inc.
Tags: adjusting, Dunder Mifflin
Luci Walks 
November 9, 2008 at 8:28 pm |
Luci,
I voted “Other” because I think you should “start with the end in mind”. When you are 80 or 90 years old and you reflect back on your life, what do you most want to say you did? Is it a part-time job or a career? Or is it simply to “love the Lord with all your heart and mind and soul” (and “lean not on your own understanding”) – and if that is it, then it doesn’t matter what you do or where you work in the between time. You said in your blog already it doesn’t matter where you walk next, you will walk in your peace that you have found in your faith. Your newfound skills or awareness of your trip are already being put to the test!
Okay, so I know that totally does NOT answer you or help you pay the bills in the mean time. I’m sorry you feel lost in the Unknown before you. Anyone would. I’m saying maybe now is the time to enter that “Pray” part of “Eat, Pray, Love” and rest in knowing that God has a plan for you, a plan to give you hope and a future. (Jer 29:11) I pray you find God’s exciting, hopeful, wonderful will for you during this time.
LikeLike
November 10, 2008 at 11:06 am |
Doodle, I voted “other” as well. I had comments to make, but Heidi’s words really captured it all….perfectly.
LikeLike
November 11, 2008 at 2:33 pm |
Heidi, thank you so much for your words! I really appreciate the reminder to rest in my faith and knowledge that God will provide.
Just to be clear… I’m still excited about the unknown (like I write about a couple entries ago). It’s just that I am impatient sometimes. Basically, I wish I could read the end of the book first. I like knowing how things turn out… it makes it easier to deal with the intermediate unknowing.
So, thank you again for the reminder to be patient, and to rest easy in the knowledge that God will provide! I appreciate being held accountable in such a way!
And thanks to those of you who voted in my little poll. WordPress just added the poll feature and it looked like so much fun, I had to add one of my own. Just so you know, you can add in your own entry under “Other” if you like fill in the blanks. Good times!
Luci
LikeLike