Ten Days

Ten days from now I will be on a plane headed to Madrid. Two weeks from now will be my first day of walking. After all this planning, this trip is finally happening!

I’ve been spending time working on my packing list and running errands. Despite my efforts to limit the weight in my pack, it’s still too heavy. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do about that, but I figure it won’t take too many miles for me to figure out what is and what is not essential.

Other than that, I’m trying to get in as much walking as I can so that my body isn’t too surprised by the Pyrenees Mountains and long distances. Here is a look at today’s training walk:

Date: Thursday, August 28, 2008
Walking Route: Herrick Lake Trails
Miles Walked: 8ish
Walking Time: 2 hours 56 minutes
Terrain Type: gravel and pavement; level surface
Terrain Difficulty: Easy
Visual Difficulty: Easy (no trekking poles or cane required)
Weather: overcast/hazy, with some sun

Spirit Meter: 7 out of 10.
(“1″ being, like, totally bummed. “5″ being, like, you know, whatever. And “10″ being, like, Super-Wow!) (By the way, does anyone know how to code the word “Spririt” to make it sparkle? Wouldn’t that be totally rad?)

Okay, I’ll try to keep the Valley Speak in check…

Anyway, today was a solid “7.” Overall, I’m feeling good about things, but a little bit of anxiety peeps out every now and then. Only natural, I suppose. Although, it would help if I could download the Spanish language to my brain while I slept tonight…

As for the “Thing that Surprised me Today” or perhaps a better name would be “The Daily Surprise” — It happened on my walk. I was tired and just wanted to get home, but I still had a mile and a half to go. I had stopped at a busy intersection waiting for the light to turn, when a woman pulled up next to me on her bike. She was friendly and started a conversation, but it was interrupted by a fire truck, an ambulance and their sirens. As the trucks passed, I looked over at her and noticed that she was making the sign of the cross and saying a prayer.

That was the thing that surprised me today. That the woman stopped what she was doing to pray for whatever tragedy required a fire truck and an ambulance. And that she didn’t think twice before doing it. It was touching, and I appreciated it.

Anyway, I’ll be offline for the next four days, as I spend some quality time with my family over Labor Day weekend. Wisconsin Dells here we come!

I wish you all a happy and safe weekend!

Stay Strong

I’m feeling slightly sentimental tonight, so please bear with me.

Today, I was thinking not only of the changes in my own life, but changes happening in the lives around me. Specifically, I have several friends who are in the process of big change, and I wanted to encourage them on their journey.

So, I guess the following is for them, as much as it is for me.

First and foremost: You Can Do It.

Stay strong. Stay focused on your goal of bettering yourself and your life, in whatever way that is. Have confidence in your vision for your future, and in your ability to bring about the change you desire. Have confidence in your pursuit. And if you ever start to waiver in that confidence, call me and I will remind you of the smart, incredible, and insightful person that you are.

Secondly, you know that saying about life being a roller coaster? Well, it might be over-used, but it’s true. You will face ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad. Roll with it. Enjoy the ride. You only get one chance at it, so you might as well feel the wind in your hair. Remember, you can do this.

Third, utilize the resources available to you (e.g. your friends, your family, your faith). It’s okay to ask for help.

Finally, you will doubt yourself and your choices. You will make mistakes. You might even find yourself wanting to return to the past, to the familiar, to the “known.” Hang in there. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. Grace is a wonderful thing.

You can do this.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. –from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson

Liberate yourself from your fear.

“May the Lord bless you and keep you;
May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
May the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26

Camino Blog – Input Requested

Okay, to bring everyone up to speed, I thought I would summarize what’s going on:

1. I quit my job to pursue my travel itch.
2. After a 5-day camping trip to Sleeping Bear Dunes, and a 12-day tour of D.C., State College, PA, and Pittsburgh, PA, I am now gearing up for a 500-mile walk across Spain known as el Camino de Santiago.
3. I leave for Spain two weeks from today! Woohoo!
4. I am walking with a friend named Ann, who has an independent and adventurous spirit, and just the right amount of sass.

As we walk across Spain, my goal is to keep a travel journal. Every night, I hope to write down how many miles we walked, what the terrain was like, etc. And this is where I need your help, Blog Reader Friend Person. I am wondering what kinds of things you would like me to note on a daily basis?

To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, following is the kind of entry I envision writing once I’m on the Camino (using my training walk this morning as an example):

Date: Sunday, August 24, 2008
Starting Point: Home
Ending Point: Home
Miles Walked: 6.1 miles (training pack weight: about 20 lbs.)
Walking Time: 2 hours (including brief banana break)
Terrain Type: gravel and pavement; level surface
Terrain Difficulty: Easy
Visual Difficulty: Easy (no trekking poles or cane required)
Weather: sunny, warm, beautiful blue sky (not a cloud in sight)

I’ll also include general thoughts and share any highlights from the day, but right now I’m wondering if there are specific “fun facts” that you would be interested in me tracking as I walk across Spain.

Do you want to know the things listed above: weather, terrain type, or “visual difficulty” for someone with Retinitis Pigmentosa?

Part of me is tempted to include a “Spirit Meter” to indicate where my spirits are that day. (Anything involving spirit sticks, spirit fingers, etc. amuses me greatly.)

Should I keep track of how many bananas I eat? Or what I eat in general? Spanish words I pick up? The number of blisters I get?

Let your imaginations roam wild (obviously mine is stuck on the mundane) and post a comment below. I look forward to reading your responses!

17 Days

My thoughts are definitely shifting toward the Camino now. I had such high hopes for these three weeks that I am home (between my DC/PA trip and leaving for Spain). Such high hopes…

I envisioned myself starting off each day with some quiet, prayer time. Then I would go for a long training walk (ranging from 5 to 10 miles). After that I would spend an hour or so learning Spanish by listening to some audio CDs and studying a “Learn Spanish Fast” workbook. Then, in the afternoons and evenings I would spend quality time with my family and friends. During all of this, I would be eating healthfully–fruit, salad, no desserts. I would get lots of rest and drink lots of water.

Unfortunately, reality has been a little different.

I still haven’t unpacked from the DC/PA trip. I lost my keys. My laptop broke. I’m not entirely sure I even know where the Spanish CDs are, and I’ve eaten more brownies than I care to count.

But! The good news is that I’ve gotten to spend some time with my immediate family, and I even got to go out for sushi with a friend tonight. Woohoo! (And Tonight’s Bonus: I got carded when I ordered a glass of plum wine!)

Really, all of this is just a gentle reminder that life isn’t always neat. Despite my tendency to try and make things perfect, sometimes life unfolds in its own way, in its own time.

I need to remember that it’s all going to be okay. This trip, my pilgrimage, will still happen even if I’m not in perfect physical or spiritual shape. It doesn’t matter if the only question I know how to ask in Spanish is “¿Dónde está la biblioteca?” It doesn’t matter if I eat the whole pan of brownies.

In 17 days, I leave for Spain, plain and simple.

The countdown is on, but the stress is off. As long as my bag is packed with my boots and a change of clothes, I’ll be okay.

Ridiculous Bliss

What a wonderful trip! I felt like I was on vacation, spending that time with my fabulous family and friends. Can one be “on vacation” and “voluntarily unemployed” simultaneously? Or is that just redundant?

Regardless, my “vacation” was wonderful. Simply wonderful.

There were a lot of highlights on the trip, but one of the best moments happened yesterday, when I was having lunch with an old friend. After we swapped stories and caught up on the basics of each other’s life, my friend asked me “how was I really doing?”

Honestly and truthfully, I told him that I am doing great. I told him how happy I am. How ridiculously, blissfully happy I am right now,

I’m happy and healthy.
My loved ones are, for the most part, happy and healthy.
And I’m completely geeked about my future–the pilgrimage and then whatever else happens after that.

As I was sharing all this with my friend, I suddenly realized: I am SO EXCITED that I get to live this life! My life!

How awesome is that?!

I feel completely happy in who I am, in what I am doing with my life, and absolutely thrilled that I get to keep living it!

This from a woman who once raged against God because she was losing her vision?

This from a woman who recently was so depressed that she about ate her weight in cookie dough while sitting on the couch watching Hallmark movies?

I guess it just goes to show that anything is possible.

Anything is possible, and never lose hope.

Triumph at Shingletown Gap

Earlier this week, my friend and I tried to hike to the lookout at Mt. Nittany. Due to various “circumstances” we missed the lookout and instead ended up hiking much longer than previously anticipated.  But we won’t go into those details here…

Anyway, today we thought we would try again with a different mountain, so we headed to Shingleton Gap.  It was a steep and rocky climb, but we totally triumphed over that thing.  If you’re ever in State College, PA I would definitely recommend this trail.  (I think it would be especially nice in autumn).

My low vision makes hiking on uneven and rocky trails even more difficult, but trekking poles really help. Well, trekking poles and really patient friends who are okay with going slowly and pointing out low branches and unstable rocks and other things I might miss.  A big thanks to Tamara and Richard for helping me today!

The hiking this week has been great in helping me train for the Camino.  I realized today that I leave in 23 days.  23 Days!  That’s like 3 weeks! (I know, my math skillz are amazing.)  Interestingly though, my focus hasn’t completely shifted to Spain yet.  I still have a few more days in PA before heading back home and I continue to enjoy this time with friends and family.  Perhaps when I arrive home Camino preparation will move to the top of my priority list?  

Until then, thanks for all the blog love and support.  I’m glad you all are enjoying it.  My next update probably won’t be for a few days, so I’ll end this wishing you all a great weekend!

Today’s Lesson: Cane Usage

Last week, when I was in Washington, D.C., I used my cane to help me get around. I knew the places we planned to visit were going to be crowded, dimly lit, and strewn with hazards like kids who strayed from their parents, Wet Floor signs, or steps that aren’t marked. (Just a few examples of things that make it difficult for me to get around because of my low vision.)

I do not use my cane on a daily basis because most of the time I am just tooling around town, going to places that I am familiar with, or doing things with people who will lend me an arm if I need help. Plus, I admit, I’m still getting used to the “stigma” that comes with using the cane.

I think it’s only natural that when people see someone using a cane, they automatically assume that person can’t see anything. Heck, I do it myself and I know better! What most people don’t know is that less than 10% of visually impaired people cannot see anything (according to my Orientation & Mobility trainer). Put another way, the majority of visually impaired people out there can still see something–perhaps they might be able to distinguish between light and dark, or make out shapes, etc. Basically, it’s rare when a visually impaired person sees only blackness.

I happen to have very good central vision still, so I can see almost everything happening in front of me (while it’s light out). So, using the cane is an interesting experience because I can see people’s reactions. Mostly, I see the staring. And really, that’s cool. I’m okay with it…now.

At first, I’ll be honest, it freaked me out. (Still does, sometimes.) But I understand now that people are just processing what they are seeing. I do the same thing when I see someone with a cane. I watch what they do and how they do it. Although, mostly I do it to see how they handle their cane, and if I can learn anything.

Which brings me to today’s lesson: Cane Usage. I thought it might be helpful for people to know that there are three ways to use a cane, and that you can get a feel for how much vision the user has based on the way they carry the cane.

We’ll call the first method “Straight Stick.” This is the method I use most frequently. It involves holding the cane in front of you at a 45-degree angle. The tip is held about an inch or two above the ground. Mostly, it’s a way of saying to the world, “You might want to step aside, because I may or may not see you.” If you see someone holding a cane this way, you can assume (to a degree) that the user still has some visual acuity.

The second method is called “Sweeping.” This method involves sweeping the cane from side to side, keeping constant contact with the ground. The tip of the cane will usually have a ball or teardrop shape on it, as opposed to a flat tip. I’ll use “sweeping” on smooth ground surfaces when I’m busy looking up and around at other things and let my cane tell me if there’s anything on the ground I need to worry about. For example, I’ll use the “sweeping” method in an airport when I know there won’t be any steps I have to worry about and need to use my vision to find my gate.

The third method is “Tapping.” The user will tap the cane left, center, then right. The tip of the cane will be flat. Users who use tapping have very little vision. My cane trainer taught me only the basics of tapping because it will be a while before I actually need it.

So that’s your cane lesson for today. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if you have any questions.

Oh… one last thing… check out this article written by Joel M. Deutsch. It is called “Red Sea” and it is about his experience of first using a cane.

Greetings from State College, PA

It’s been an awesome trip so far.  Here are some of the highlights:

• Visiting my cousins in and around DC!  They rock!  (Thanks again for letting me stay with you guys!)
• A day exploring the National Mall, including visits to a plethora of monuments and memorials, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and the National Archives.  Total Miles Walked: 8.
• Playing Wii for the first time.  I have the Wii physical prowess of a 57-year old (literally — I took the Wii “Fitness Test”), but I still loved it.
• Learning the game Killer Bunnies.
• Petting Zoo with Nat.
• Our day of intrigue at the International Spy Museum in DC.  We signed up for “Operation Spy” thing, where we became spies and had to solve a mystery, before heading into the museum itself.  Good stuff.
• Tour of Penn State in State College, PA.
• Lunch at Spat’s Cafe.  I give this place two thumbs up.  If you ever find yourself in State College, you have to give this Cajun place a try.  Great food and atmosphere.
• Getting lost on Mt. Nittany with Tamara.  We’re still not quite sure how it happened, but what should have been a total hike of two hours to the lookout, turned into a five and a half hour hike to nowhere.  Needless to say, we’re a little sore today.  I enjoyed the adventure though.  It felt like good preparation for the pilgrimage.

Overall, this trip has provided me with lots of fun activities, but also good down-time to help me transition from “work life” to my next phase in life, which I suppose I’ll start calling “nomad life.”  (I realized that between mid-July and November, the longest I’ll stay in one place is less than 3 weeks.)

A few times now, since I started traveling last week, my thoughts have turned to work.  I’ll remember a project or something and add that to my mental to-do list for when I return to the office.  I guess since I worked there for eight years, it’s taking my brain some time to realize that I’m not just on vacation right now.  It’s been interesting working through that and reminding myself that I can let it all go.

The other thing that has been happening with me is that, as I cross things off my to-do lists (like moving out of my apartment, the MI camping trip, my last day of work, going to DC) I find myself with less and less to focus on, thus leaving more and more room to mentally and spiritually and physically prepare for my upcoming pilgrimage.

Anyway, I’ll be in State College for a few more days before heading to Pittsburgh and meeting up with more family.  Tonight I’m headed to a Spikes game (single A affiliate of the Pittsburgh Pirates)!  Tonight’s promotional activity at the Spikes game: Baseball Bingo!!  (Two of my favorite activities combined!  How awesome is that?)

DC here I come

I headed to DC this afternoon to spend some time with family, and to play tourist.  If you know the DC area well and have a suggestion for a place I should definitely visit, let me know!  I’ll be there for a few days before heading on to PA. 

Until next time…

Blind? Uninsured? At least I can still legally drive.

Leaving my job provided me with an opportunity to review the various forms of health insurance available to me. I can always fall back on COBRA for the next 18 months, but I thought it might behoove me to research other, hopefully less expensive, options. After reviewing the choices, I selected an individual plan through a national health insurance company.

I filled out the application and waited. They called me a week later to ask a few follow-up questions. I really appreciated their patient Customer Service, and by the end of the conversation I was feeling pretty good about things. Fast forward a week and I get a letter in the mail informing me that my request has been denied for one reason only: I have Retinitis Pigmentosa.

My initial reaction was “Oh well.” But the more I thought about it the more annoyed I became. Seriously? I was denied because of my RP? Do they realize there’s not even a cure for it? Do they realize the most significant costs associated with the disease are yearly visits to the doctor to monitor the loss of vision? (Which, by the way, cost less than the tests associated with a yearly physical.) There aren’t any ongoing treatment costs to pay. The health insurance company wouldn’t even have to cover Mobility Training or a cane. My home “State” does that.

Which brings me to the somewhat related topic of the State in which I live. About a year and a half ago, around the same time I got my cane and went through Mobility Training, I went to exchange my driver’s license to a State ID. I had stopped driving in November of 2004, under the delicate suggestion of my doctor.

While at the facility, I was told that all I would have to do to renew my license was take the vision exam. Curiosity got the best of me. I decided to take the vision test to see if I would pass. I did.

Despite having lost more than 75% of my vision, I passed the exam because the State only tests central and outer peripheral vision. Which, as it turns out, are the only two places I have vision left. In the end, I renewed my driver’s license because it cost $10 less than exchanging it for a State ID.

Anyway, my twisted sense of humor is left amused by the image of a potentially uninsured “almost legally blind” woman driving down the road.

I might not have health insurance, but at least I can still drive.